the big picture

in the big picture of evolution and genesis, my dna is not even a point. so my aspirations, which crumble me now, are, in the big picture, meaningless. the sad thing is that being mortal, i have more concern for the meanings in this short life, than on the larger scale. i am repeatedfly confronted with the question that do i have the make up of an individual who has evolved, or do i belong to the group which has the classic dna. everybody knows that mutated dna might be more benefecial......provided the condition that makes it useful presents itself. strangely, i find myself preoccupeid with only one thought at this time of trouble, the thought of propagation. the desire to ensure the continuation of my line, my being, my set of genetic meterial. i obviously wonder whether i really am worth that or not. being the pedantic soldier of science, there is no remorse in me for acknowledgements of truth, even if they turn out to belittle my self supposed magnified status. unfortunately there are no audits possible in this area existence, which would demarcate whether or not you are worthy of being carried forward. theoretiacally i have little doubt that a randomised controlled trial is possible which could discern the fillers from the tillers. hard as i may try to subscribe to be a tiller, could it be that i am not given to perform that job? like the drones in a beehive, maybe i am just the impotent worker bee, ah but what an intriguing pattern it reveals. the fruit of reproduction is reserved for only the bees which are thought to be capable, who have a make up that is worthy. others are mere workers, who must toil for the common good of the hive. needless to say, there no Bee Rights groups outside the queen bees residence demanding equal rights for all bees......but to get back to the front, i myself am an experiment. This scientific temper which fills me forces me to make myself an observational study, for my lifetime, to see which rung i get alloted in the evolution ladder. its a completely biased trial, unblinded, prospective and no doubt, interesting, if this blog exists till the end.