so little time

so pathetic is the guy in the movie that i almost feel like weeping out each time...........forrest gump.......he loves the girl so much......and she is the only one he loves..........but if you look at him thru her eyes.........he is just a filler..........between spurts of excitement.........he is the drab commercial.......he is just so basic......such a background.........he knows he is not a smart guy..........he is so straight that i feel guilty at having a larger iq than him.......i dont know why i feel wo moved by movies..........there are many people i know.......who are like that.......some are even close friends.........while life deals me cards, i struggle to guess the pattern.........try hard to premeditate whats in store............its obviously a futile excercise..............but i nevertheless keep trying............and then for a brief moment, i just pause to think about peopl like forest gump.........while i bask in the glory of my own superiority complex............there are people like him........who have a less intelligence quotient, so i can keep my su[periority complex with me........and then they admit that they are not smart......................i dont know what i would do if i met a guy like that............i guess i would feel ashamed..........ashamed of feeling that i am intelligent.......and ashamed of trying harder and harder to be more intelligent...................i dont know why i feel ashamed..........i almost feel like i wish i were like forest gump..............not smart, not the tops, not the highwire......not even the average..............below it.......below it.........not that i am the tops or the best in field now............but i am trying............anyhow.....its just a film.....fg gets a good deal in the end.............thats how movies are.....opr at least they make it look lik he gets a good deal in the end...............real world is shit..............but i love to live in a dreamworld.......i love to be pathologically optimistic.............i love to believe that if not forall......for some things are good..............i also love this ability to feel someones pain like my own..............sometimes i feel it too close.........and that brings me down a bit...........but i still love to be able to feel it all...........maybe because i can feel it all, i may be able to do something about it...............like always........i wish life was 800 years long..............there is so much to do......and so little time.