spinning the wheel

everytime i see her......her smile overwhelms my pessimism....for a few moments i capsize beneath the flood of love she pours out......effortlesly......its like a millenium....suspended within a few seconds....somehow.....i feel that all this could not be in vain.......that she could not be in vain.....she is a purpose.....thats a natural acknowledgement.........but she is also a means.....and thats personal.....at many points in many seconds in one of my parellel universes i stop and sit down and hold my head and think hard......why.......but it never happens in the reality of this percievable life.......in another one....maybe.....but not this one.......which when i think about it......makes me feel that there is more to it all than thinks the thought......it becomes so easy to be swayed by superstitions.....few months ago i used to look at the patterns in the sky.......at sunset i was subjected to some of the most breathtaking visuals.....spread on a canvas so huge that my eyes could not swallow even in a few gulps........and i liked to think after that that the reason i am viewing these lovely images.......and am able to appreciate them........is that i am meant to be here.....how we like to be prophetic.......there are no unconnected reasons.....no mysterious strings.....life is simple....we make it complicated unnecessarily........much because we are scared.....too scared to accept that life is simple.......within our understanding.........but we like clouds.........they obscure the unwanted......and its easy to shift the blame.....blame the unknown.......why the unknown.....why not something.....someone.........the height of the argument is.......that if there is nothing to blame.....no one thing......a multitude of factors.....and there is no conspiracy........then you can blame nothing......and nothing.......and unknown....seem to be closely related.......almost the same things........however i might like to consider myself evolved.....i hope i never forget that every opinion deserves respect......all such efforts to evolve myself .....an ultimate goal......but to reach that island of salvation........these bridges i need to cross......and every step makes my shoe heavier.........hidden in the weight is a comfort......one wonders........is the comfort for a cause.......or is it just the effect......the answer


comfort................is comfort.