fear

such an internal feeling

and sometimes you dont have to know why

you can just have a feeling

i think in olden times, this is what induced people to think of spirits, ghosts, demons and eventually to the idea og god.....

anyway.......

whats my greatest fear?

its not amy......

when it comes to her i feel omnipotent

when it comes to her i feel like god

when it comes to her i feel that there is nothing on earth......in the whole creation that can prevent me from taking care of her

whatever happens.....i can take care of her....

it not natasha either......

i feel the same way about her, its strange actually......

when i sense some unknown fear like now........and i have some unidentified worry.......i think of my most precious things......and i suddenly feel that i dont worry about them at all........because when it comes to them.......i am god.

if anything were to go wrong with them......i feel that with all my might, i will be able to make them okay.

ha

when i sat down to type.........i was thinking that i will type in about my fears.......try to regurgitate through this keyboard what it is thats nagging me.....

and it turns out that i am actually spewing out a powerful message about my strength......about my limitless capability to force the forces of nature to ensure the well being of my closest people.

and this little excercise lifts the gloom.....

not completely.....but it does....

i dont know if ts the tea.........or the biscuits.......or nick cave playing..........or this channel of thoughts......

but i dont care.......

there is work to do.....

so i must get some sleep......

by the way........when i was preparing for this exam he last time i wrote this interesting little rhyme......here it is.....

life is a gift

of magical contradiction

useless when you have it

priceless in restriction